The part of this whole training process for the upcoming race schedule that I absolutely loathe is the nutrition aspect.  I need to eat better.  I need to form better habits.  Since the beginning of the year I have up’d by protein intake and decreased the carbs.  I have increased the number of ounces of water I take in daily.  I now pop a multi-vitamin daily (and yes, some days they are Fred, some days they are Wilma, and others are that really cool car with boulders as wheels – that car was badass).  I have drastically cut down / shut off soda intake (after a complete relapse while in Florida and Anaheim).  I’ve cut down drastically the amount of sweets I consume (that sucks too – Mallomars rock).  I log all of my food in, so I can track my calories and figure out what meals result in the best performance.  I am shocked at how seriously I am taking this.


As seriously as I am taking this, I have my moments of “falling off the wagon”.

Here’s the difference between pre-2016 me and the current version (Joe 2.0): I feel guilty when the wheels come off and I give in to a temptation – like I did this morning, by having a chocolate chip muffin for breakfast instead of a sausage, egg & cheese on an English muffin from Starbucks.  Prior to this year, I did not have the focus that it took to stick to a nutritional discipline.  Version 2.0, however, feels that specific emotion necessary for me to improve over the long haul.  That emotion… shame.

I feel shame.

…and that made me think of one of my favorite movies of all time: Slapshot.  Quite simply the greatest hockey film ever made.  And since it’s a movie about hockey – that makes it one of the greatest movies of all time, right up there with Ben Hur and that other one with Scarlette, where her big ol’ mansion is on fire….

slapshot 1

The opening scene of Slapshot is a TV interview with with the goalie for the Charlestown Chiefs.  It is hysterical, and it’s why the movie came immediately to mind.

slapshot 3

The goalie, in a very French-Canadian accent, explains all of the penalties in the great sport of hockey.  Hooking.  Spearing.  High Sticking.  Slashing.  When the announcer asks what happens when a player is caught doing something wrong, he eloquently states that “…when you do dat, you go to da box and you sit dere….two minutes…and…you feel shame…and den you get freed….”

I know that there will be times where I cave and have something tasty – something that, calorie-wise, is an absolute no-no.  So I came up with my version of “going to da box….for two minutes”: each time I cave, there’s a 25 push-up / 100 leg lift penalty.  Da box is my office – and it has glass walls.  So if I cave at work, not only will I have to do the exercises, but co-workers could see me.  And….I will feel shame…..

slapshot 2



Author: backofthepacker

A slow running, wine slurping, Disney-loving, bourbon swilling triathlete that is simply looking to go from ordinary to extraordinary...and hopefully motivate others along the way.

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