Bringin’ The Noise…

After Sunday’s crappy performance on the long run, I decided to redeem myself with a long, tiring workout on Monday morning.  Sunday night, I enhanced my plan for the following morning and created a specific playlist that I dubbed “FUBAR”.  By the time I finished on my Iphone, perfecting the sequence of bands that would take turn yelling in my ears, I was psyched to get out there and redeem my sorry ass.

Of course…I had forgotten that I had consumed so much caffeine throughout the day that I was wide awake still…at 10am…. (hey – coffee keeps me sane during the work day.  I drink vast quantities of this heavenly mixture as a public service…so….you’re welcome) …and I was was unable to crash for the night and rest up for the following morning’s effort.  Not good.

I tried to fall asleep for a few hours, to no avail.  So I scratched the concept of sleep in favor of flipping on the Playstation 4 and continuing my ongoing quest to earn the Rangers their first Stanley Cup since 1994.  While it felt good rolling up the points on the New Jersey Devils, I would have preferred a nice nap.  The next time I looked at my garmin, it was 3:45am.  The hell with it.  I turned off the video game, got changed into workout clothes, and headed out the door for a run.  Here’s what I learned over the next hour, while running through the streets of Manhattan:

  • Times Square between 4am and 5am is an interesting locale.  There are more people simply hanging out on corners than you would otherwise expect.  At one point, a dude jogged beside me, trying to pitch me his rap CD.  Is stopped dead in my tracks, let him pitch me the awesomeness that is his music and, when he finished, he attempted to hand me the CD requesting $10.  It was at this point that I asked him whether he had any musical device on his person or waiting for him at home that accepted CDs any more.  He responded…. “ummmm…”  So I replied “neither do I – but good luck with your career.”  BY the time I got myself going, I overheard him tell his buddies “we got a problem with this whole CD thing…”
  • You can score a slice of pizza at 4:30am.  Fresh out of the oven.  Yet another reason why New York City rocks.
  • It’s funny when you realize that you are passing people that have just left a local club and are looking for an “after-hours place” at 4:45am…on a Monday morning.  Do you know what’s funnier?  Catching the expressions on their faces when they see someone running for exercise as they are still sipping that 8th Stoli and tonic with a twist out of a rather chewed up straw.
  • I couldn’t help but think of that old Mitch Hedberg joke when I passed a local dry cleaner.  All of the lights were off, and the front door had one of those signs hanging at eye level, saying “Sorry – We Are Closed”.  Why are you apologizing?  It’s 4:43am, and you are a dry cleaner.  It’s OK to be closed.  It is very rare that someone will pass by at this hour and voice their displeasure aloud about the fact that he / she cannot get a giant Merlot stain out of a Michael Kors tie at this hour…
  • Another old joke hit me as I passed a 7-11 just before 5am.  The neon sign said “Open 24 Hours”…but the front door was locked.  Open 24 hours…just not in a row.  (all hail Stephen Wright)

I got in a 6 miler, then headed to my gym for Phase 2.  Phase 2 consisted of some weight training – 4 sets of numerous exercises that hit major muscle groups, beginning with the shoulders and working to the quadriceps.  I worked my legs last, trying to burn them out by throwing heavier than usual weights on my squats and leg extensions.  I wanted to go into Phase 3 with my legs screaming “YOU ARE A TOOL!”  Mission accomplished.

Phase 3 was a 6:15am spin class.  OK – I am new to this whole “spinning”thing, I know.  But to me, it’s like Netflix.  Here’s why I say that: I am not a huge TV consumer.  I love movies, and it’s been a while since I was hooked on a TV series.  The Sopranos ruled.  Then Battlestar Galactica kicked royal ass (and always will – SO SAY WE ALL).  But its been years since those series have gone off live air.  Enter Netflix.  With Netflix, I was introduced to a series that apparently everyone but me watched: The West Wing.  Now I am hooked on the series.  Better late than never.  (and every President should be like Jeb Bartlett.). So I clipped in to my bike, and off we went.  45 minutes of pain.  It was awesome!

In all: I got in a 6 mile run, 16 miles on the bike averaging over 20mph after burning my legs out with free weights, and I burned over 1,300 calories.  The best part: I had the rest of the day to feel the high that comes with the post-workout endorphins.

…and sleep?  I’ll sleep later.  I hope.