March 31st and April 1st 2017

So Friday was a self-imposed rest day.  All I focused on was my nutrition….but going out to a fairly awesome Italian restaurant doesn’t help matters.  Now I could sit here and say that I was disciplined – I ordered the branzino and fresh veggies for dinner instead of the fried calamari and fresh pasta with a delightful meat sauce……but that would be a lie.  Friday was a complete cheat day.  Workouts be damned.  Dietary discipline: screw you.  I did absolutely nothing right as it pertained to training for July 29th.  What is July 29th?  Glad you asked.

ironman vineman 230x120 1

It’s now referred to as Ironman Santa Rosa…but the race remains the same.  Swim 2.4 miles.  Bike 112 miles.  Run 26.2 miles.  Brag for the rest of your life.  I have to be able to swim 4,400 yards in less than 2 hours and twenty minutes.  I have to bike 112 miles and then be out there beginning the marathon by no later than 5:30pm.  I have top then finish the marathon before midnight.  That’s the task in front of me.  So why in the name of Zues’ hindquarters did I think that treating myself to that second glass of super tuscan and that awesome amaretto gelato (yeah, I had that too) was a good idea?  Because every once in a while, you need to reward yourself with something awesome.  Small victories deserve to be celebrated.  The only thing missing was a glass of amaretto.  (good thing I had a flask with me…)

This morning I was really dialed in.  I began with a strength training session where I keyed on upper body conditioning.  Upper body strength will be important because the stress of swimming that distance will wear out my shoulders and arms.  The bike’s 112 miles will sap strength from my chest, arms and back as I hold myself up on Maximus (that’s the name os my bike) (yes- I named my bike) (and yes, It’s named Maximus…I tell dudes that I got the name from the movie Gladiator, when I actually named it after the horse from the Disney animated film Tangled).  The run will require me to finish the long day by swinging my arms like pistons while bent at the elbow at a 90 degree angle for approximately 5 hours.  So lifting those weights really matters.

After I lifted , I hopped on the bike for an hour.  I did a 15 minute warm up, followed by 45 minutes of hard interval training.  I worked on 30-60 second extremely hard internals, because while on the bike, I need to be able to sprint past the bike in front of me within 30 seconds of making my move on a bike in front of me, or else I could be hit with a 5 minute penalty.  Today was one of those high quality sessions that showed me that I have the juice to get that portion of the job done – and done well.  I then hopped on the dreadmill for a quick 2 mile run just to make sure that my legs can transition from one discipline to the other with some form of efficiency.  Today’s training all had a purpose – and that made the difference in my performance.

It’s funny: a few weeks ago, I had a colonoscopy done at the age of 46.  It’s a few years early – but my dad had colorectal cancer more than once, so I have a genetic predisposition.  Two the things that had to be biopsied from this procedure took two separate testing sessions of testing before determining a benign status.  that 7-9 days of purgatory scared the crap out of me.  A few or to later, I am having a rather long needle jabbed into my chest to test a lump that resides in between my pectoral muscles.  The verdict is out – and another week spent in the in-between.

It’s funny: why does it take a 4″ syringe jabbed into your chest to remind you that yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today’s a gift…which is why it’s called a present.  Sometimes a person needs a swift kick in the glutes in order to dial in and focus on the tasks that need to be accomplished.  I’m sure the joy will come back with a positive verdict…however that’s not the point.  I shouldn’t need to be scared out of my wits in order to appreciate the here and now.

I need to take the lesson learned and allow it to further improve how I do what I do going forward.

(OK – so I read through this whole post, and realized that it was rather direct and not-so-funny.  So I’ll end it with a joke:A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender says “hey – why the long face?”)

(hmmm….that wasn’t so funny.  OK – I’ll try again.  Moses and Jesus are playing golf.  Moses pulls out the driver and crushes a drive 250 yards down the center of the fairway. He smiles at Jesus, and then says “you’re up”.  Jesus pulls out his driver and snap hooks his drive into the woods.  Moses lets out a laugh – “wow, the woods are lovely this time of year – have fun trying to find that one, you Ben Hogan wanna be!”  At that moment Jesus raises his arms to heavens….and then a stream appears to run across the fairway, originating from the woods.  And there, swimming in the stream, is a bass.  The bass has a golf ball in his mouth.  At that moment, a hawk swoops down, grabs the bass and takes off.  The bass drops the ball, it falls from the sky and lands on the green…where it rolls into the hole for a hole in one.  Jesus lowers his arms, looks at Moses and smiles.  Moses then pauses for a moment, and then blurts out “….OK LOOK – ARE WE GONNA PLAY GOLF OR ARE WE JUST GONNA FUCK AROUND????”)


….ok – now I can sign off for the evening.