Today’s limitation is one I made. I didn’t take good care of my teeth, and this morning I dealt with the result: I had 3 teeth yanked at 7am. Sooooo….no training today. I need to get on it tomorrow morning, bright and early. This evening will be spent drinking dinner (whey protein shake on the rocks – with not a trace of bourbon or Cabernet in sight)
On a positive note, today’s a good day for my diet, as I can’t eat anything awesome at all. UGH. Oh – and I also get some cool pain killers too. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
For the uninitiated: that’s Ric Flair. The Nature Boy. 16-time world wrestling champion. One of the single greatest guys on the mic, bar none. So many of his one-liners have gone mainstream that you can easily adopt his lingo and make any conversation that begins with a simple question turn into 3 minutes of colorful banter…and the coolest thing about it is that you can throw any dialect of “WOOOO!” that you’d like in at any time, when addressing any subject. Wooooo always works. Here’s a quick quiz – let’s see how you do….
Question 1: A co-worker sees you in the hallway and says “Hey, how are you?” The best reply to this co-worker is:
a) “I’m great, Bill. Thanks! How about you?”
b) “I’m quite well, Sir. I truly appreciate the courtesy.”
c) “Brutha, I’m stylin’ and profilein’!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
Question 2: You’re at a party, and some jerk nearby is endlessly trying to impress those around him by boasting loudly for all to hear about how much money he has, how expensive his car is, etc. He’s really being obnoxious. What do you do?
a) Ignore the schmuck and say nothing.
b) Walk away sadly, wishing you were like this wart-infested toad.
c) Walk up to him, tap him on the shoulder, and say “Brutha, I’ve spent more money on spilled liquor flying from one end of this country to the other than you make in a year. WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”
Question 3: You’re playing a game of softball. It’s your turn at bat. You’re walking to the batters box when the pitcher tries to intimidate you by yelling, “Hey idiot – you suck.” What’s your response?
a) Dig in the batters box, calmly tell the umpire you’re ready, and try to knock the cover off the ball.
b) Turn around, drop your bat, go back to the bench and begin to slowly sob, muttering to yourself that “Life just ain’t fair…”
c) Look that jabroni right in the eye and exclaim “Well to be the man – WOOOOOO – you gotta BEAT THE MAN. And I….AM….DA….MAN. WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”
Question 4: You’re hard at work. You’re dialed in and getting things done. Really in the zone, and TCB – Takin’ Care of Business. All of a sudden, your cell phone rings, and the number is blocked. So you send it to voicemail. Then the phone rings again, 30 seconds later, again with the number being blocked. You again send it to voicemail. No voicemails have been left so far and yet…..within 30 seconds here comes call number 3. Again – it’s a blocked number. All of your momentum at work has been stifled. What do you do?
a) Answer the call, and politely tell the phone scammer on the other end of the call that you apologize, but you don’t have time to talk. But thanks for the call.
b) Call AT&T and change your number, thinking that “this torture will never end…”
c) Answer the call. When the person on the other end begins with “HELLO, and do I have great news for you!!! And what’s YOUR name?” You reply with……..
YOU’RE TALKIN’ TO THE ROLEX-WEARIN’, DIAMOND RING WEARIN’, KISS-STEALIN’ – WOOOOOO – WHEELIN’ DEALIN’, LIMOSINE-RIDING, JET-FLYIN’ SON-OF-A-GUN….AND I’M HAVIN’ A HARD TIME HOLDIN’ THESE ALLIGATORS DOWN!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here – I’ll let Mr. Flair show you how it’s done……
…..ok, I just read what I just typed…..and I’m blaming it on the pain-killers.